Or Single Awareness Day!!
As someone with a partner, Valentine’s Day is ok, but a very commercialised celebration. We do give each other a card, but rarely celebrate hugely. We don’t need a special day to declare our love, we do that every day!
It can be very hard to be single with so many lovey messages around. Even when I was super happy being single, Valentines can be a difficult day, so love to anyone finding this day hard.
I wanted to remind people on Valentine’s Day that disabled people can be queer or straight and can be in good, loving, sexual relationships. Being disabled doesn’t stop people wanting relationships. There can be misconceptions that disabled people are all asexual and not interested or able to have relationships. This is clearly wrong! And is a reflection on the infantilising that can happen to disabled people.
Another reminder is that my partner should not be congratulated for staying with me when I needed a wheelchair/lost my mobility. She should be congratulated for many things, but not for just being in a relationship with a disabled person.
It was sad to see this week that a dating agency doesn’t think people in wheelchairs are able to be part of a dating site with non disabled people, that there needs to be separate dating sites for disabled people. This shows how far we still need to come in society for us to be seen as equal to non disabled people in all ways.
So many disabled people are continuing to fight for equality and better attitudes in society. Sometimes we realise how far we still have to go.
Inter abled relationships is a term I’ve seen thrown around. I’m not a fan of this term. It implies an unequal relationship and positive relationships are equal. My partner may help me with many tasks, but I help her in many ways as well. Don’t assume that our partners are carers and that we are burdens in relationships. We are equal partners.
This Valentine’s Day, look after yourself, those you love and have a look at a photo that will make you smile. Remember that you are worthy of being loved whatever that looks like for you, whether that’s from family, friends or significant others.